Monday, January 30, 2012
I have struggled with knowing what to write on here. To be honest I have had many moments where I didn't want to do much at all, much less write. All I know is, this is hard. SO HARD. It hurts everyday. We miss Layla, every day. Sometimes I am doing okay, and then I just burst into tears. It is a daily challenge. I have never felt sorrow like this, but I will share something else as well: I have never felt God's comfort and peace like I do through this. I have felt the truth of this verse: "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalm 34:18. He is the ONLY one who can get us through this. I still don't understand why this happened, and I don't think I will until I get to Heaven. That is hard for me-it makes me frustrated and sad. I have been very angry with God. Something my Bible study leader said to me last week really helped: "Yell and scream at God, He can handle it. But don't walk away from Him." He can handle my pain. He is faithful, He is peace, He is love, He is good. He promises that we will see Layla again, and she is perfect, healed, and happy with Him. I pray that if you are going through a trial right now that you will cling to Him through it. Please pray for us as well as we struggle with giving all our hurts to Jesus and trusting Him. His promises are true. He hasn't abandoned you, He hasn't abandoned us. He is close.