Saturday, September 21, 2013

Layla's Legacy

It has been so long since I have posted on here. So much has happened, it has been difficult figuring out how to put it all down in words. Since I last posted, we celebrated sweet Layla's first birthday in Heaven, and just 5 days later, welcomed her little sister Ellie into the world. Ellie is short for Elliana, which in Hebrew means "God has answered". We truly feel like He answered our prayers in our healthy, smiley, silly baby girl. This past year has been filled with late nights, lots of diaper changes, and just learning how this parenting thing works. In addition to loving on our sweet Ellie we are learning how to navigate grief over a daughter lost. It is a strange thing to feel so much joy over the child you have, yet still ache for the children that are gone. I know for me it has made me a very cautious mommy with many fears over losing Ellie. Thankfully God is helping me daily trust Him with her. He is good! Lately I have been very worried that I would "forget" Layla. Not so much that I would actually forget her, but that I wouldn't talk about her or think about her as much as I used to. It is very natural to talk about the baby you have right there with you, but bringing up your baby that died is much, much harder. Yet I long to talk about her, to let her short but wonderful life speak out through our lives. I want Ellie to know about her older sister. So I have been praying for a way to honor Layla's memory. Recently I found out that World Help, which is, to quote their website, "a faith-based humanitarian organization that exists to serve the physical and spiritual needs of people in impoverished communities around the world", was looking for bloggers to help spread their message. We sponsor a little girl in Layla's name through World Help and also housed the two cutest little boys you will ever meet through their Children of the World Choir last fall. We LOVE this organization. They truly live out the Gospel message and serve all over the world. I started looking into what it would mean to be blogger for World Help, and I felt God impress upon my heart that I could honor Layla by raising my voice, her voice, to the needs of others in our world. I pray that God is honored and that Layla's legacy brings many to the Father's loving arms. So here we are! I am now a blogger for World Help, and get to share about all the wonderful work God is doing through this organization! I feel like this is Layla's legacy, to help me wake up to the needs of this hurting world and do what I can about it. To be awake to what He is saying and calling us to do for Him. When we decided to carry Layla through her short life, it was and still is one of the hardest things I have ever been through. It was also one of the greatest things I have ever been through. I feel like being awake to what Jesus has called us to do-die to ourselves, follow Him wherever He leads, stand up for the oppressed, care for the widow and orphan, love and serve-can be hard. It is also our greatest joy. World Help's Vice President Noel Yeatts has recently come out with a book about this called Awake: Doing a World of Good One Person at a Time. I encourage you to check it out and pray about how God is asking you to be His hands and feet to someone in your life. 1 John 3:16: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.


  1. Kristina,

    My name is Megan McDonald and my mom pointed me to your blog. It has been a great source of comfort to me to see how you and your husband have endured such challenges with such faith and love. I am 21 weeks pregnant with our first child, Joses (as in Barnabus- son of consolation). We found out nearly two weeks ago that he has anencephaly and will die not too long after birth, if he survives the birthing process. I am going to carry him to term. It gives me a great deal of comfort to see that others go through this, survive it, and even go on to have more beautiful little ones. Thank you so much for putting together this blog. I am comforted that my little one will be in the arms of His Savior along with your sweet Layla when his time comes.

    1. Hi Megan,
      Thank you so much for your message and for sharing your story. I am so sorry for the grief that you and your husband are going through as you carry your sweet Joses. What a beautiful name. I am praying for you all that God gives you the most precious moments with your son and that you can have joy even in the midst of the pain. Being on the other side of it, I know that you will not regret one single moment you all spend with Joses. If you need another mom to talk to that has been there, please feel free to send me a message. Praying praying